Sunday, April 12, 2009

How it all began

What possible reason could make a mild mannered individual such as myself create a blog devoted entirely to the raw power of It all began with an exchange between myself and my fellow hard hitting reporter Forman, and it began with an email.

Before this email I was much like the rest of the country: checking on a pseudo-regular basis, but only really when I knew something already happened. And then behold. In my inbox I received an email, the subject line read: " is great." I opened up the email to see what golden fruits lay within. And there sat quite possibly the greatest and most thought provoking piece of news I have ever seen... something that would make me want to return to again and again for as long as I live. The headline, on September 2, 2008:

Racoon rips holes in wall, grabs food.

What pure, simple brilliance. It all made sense now! OF COURSE a racoon would grab the food... all the pieces fit. The holes in the wall, the missing food, the nature of a racoon to do exactly that... I have been following the journalistic integrity of ever sense.

"I'm mad as hell! And I'm not going to take it anymore!"

The quote from Network that showed a fearless side of an overwhelmed reporter. The public thrived on his aggressive assault on what the news was reporting. A groundbreaking performance from an incredible movie.

I believe has answered this incredible moment. They finally have such a groundbreaking, fearless headline to match those moments from the classic movie.

Their Headline:

Chocolate Easter egg costs $1,400

In this economy? Shocking. I think as a nation we can all say that we're mad as hell, and we're not going to take it anymore.

The Cafferty File: How Great is

From CNN dot com dot com's Dru Johnston about CNN's Jack Cafferty:

When it comes to, Jack Cafferty seems to be the shining star of hard hitting journalism, asking the tough questions and letting dicks on the internet comment on them. I'm pretty sure that this has helped America, especially when you look at a few of the hard hitting questions posed from the Cafferty file:
What questions! Much better than the weak sauce questions about economic reform and immigration. continues to prove to us that they are at the forefront of the news industry.

So my question to you is: How great is I mean really, how great, right?

This is

Welcome to CNN dot com dot com. For all the relevant news, information and stories about

With an Alexa ranking of 52, successfully serves hard hitting news to the widest array of viewers on the internet. Their journalistic integrity and brutally honest reporting lets the heartland of America discover the ins and outs of the latest scandal in Washington, a brutal tragedy in Washington or a mundane not interesting at all fact about something that happened in Washington.

Just to give you an idea of some of the hard hitting journalism that's been hitting the internet presses, the following is a list of actual headlines taken from
  • Clothes-stealing cat victimizes neighbors - Hard hitting. I don't know who that cat is, but if he's victimizing any kind of neighbors, it deserves to be on the front page of
  • Girl kisses mom, leaves to play, vanishes - Not so much a news story as it seems a cliff notes version of a Hardy boys novel. The Mystery of the Girl who Kissed her Mom.
  • 12-foot python puts squeeze on reporter - I'm happy that the home page references a snake attack with a cute pun. Hard-hitting.
  • Naked pole vaulter runs city's streets - After I read the article I understood that the pole vaulter ran through the city's streets. At first I thought he was king.
  • Charles Manson spends most of his time alone - Oh. I guess when you think about that it makes sense. I mean, he is in jail.
  • Hand-holding family no match for tornado - Speaks for itself.
  • Bowler rolls perfect game, then dies - I thought this one was bad enough. But three minutes later they changed it to: "Guy bowls 300, falls over dead." Tragic.
I guess what I'm trying to say with this blog is... is a joke.